PART II – Napoli Ghetto, Truck with Body Parts & the One Toothed Lady in Red

And the story continues Gangeh.
K, so after we left the Nunziatella we were all emotionally drained and then some. That story will need some censoring before it is printed. So let’s begin with the fact that the Secretary of the Nunziatella himself had advised us about staying on the proper roads in Napoli, and at that moment began explaining that it would be advantageous for us to hide our belongings so that they remain unseen. He continued advising that we should not stick our cameras out of the car to take pictures. OK, so that’s the 5th person who had given us these directions and now we are soooooo glad we listened. So we’re back trying to read the crappy road map and we try to find the autostrade, which means FREEWAY. We go and go and go and can’t find the road, we turn around, go up, come back, switch back and then turn around again. We go towards Vesuvius and somehow miss the on ramp. We figure, no problem right?  We’ll just catch the next on ramp. K remember, we’re still all hema jangs from our 5 hour visit at the Nunziatella with the Commadante et al, uzis….. yes uzis… real ones….. Military garb, jail barbed bars and espionage spies… no joke k, for real. We continued on but we became real silent as we started to see the city go from semi-drab gray to death trap black…. For real k I’m not even exaggerating. As we go deeper into the depths of the ghetto I’m reminded of what a gazelle must feel like when it enters the lair of a hungry lion. In other words, you know you’re in a bad place, you just don’t know how badly. It’s the ghetto and everyone is hungry for action.
K, so we go for some time and finally Alohalani says, “I’m gonna ask for directions.” She pulls over by a truck and I’m pretty sure she’s not looking at what the dude and the truck are doing because all I see is a mean looking buggah selling animal body parts out of the back of his truck… Well, I think they’re animal body parts. I saw lungs, hearts, brains, skins, intestines, snouts, and a whole bunch of other inner parts that I couldn’t immediately identify. “Mi Scuzi, mi scuzi,” Alohalani says to the dude selling body parts out of the back of his truck. He doesn’t hear, but this old lady in red whose passing by heard her pleas for assistance. K, so you guys remember that movie from the eighties called the Goonies? You guys remember the bad guys’ mama? Ok, that’s who this lady looked like. The only thing different from the bad lady on Goonies and this lady in red was that the lady in red had only one tooth. She heard Alohalani and began explaining with a mean irritated voice and along with hula gestures how to get back on the ramp that will head us towards Pompeii. Immediately after her gyrations and explanation she rushes up to my window. Like a deer caught on the road in headlights I was mesmerized. I couldn’t even think to roll up the window quick enough. She sticks her one toothed head into the window so close to me that I could smell her breath. She says to Alohalani in Italian… and I paraphrase… “Get the hell out of here, don’t turn around or come back here, it’s an extremely dangerous place.” The whole time she is talking her eyes are darting back and forth in the car probably checking out what we have in the car but thanks to the advice from everyone we’ve hidden everything. With a grazie we turn around and try not to get sandwiched in between cars. Whoa! We flee out of the ghetto without looking back not once. We drive around Napoli center again for a bit before turning back and relocating the on ramp. Whew! You ever had one of those dreams where you’re being chased and no matter how hard or fast you go you’re not gaining any distance? Yep…. That’s how it was.
After some more time and passing the massive pu’u of Vesuvius we safely make it to Pompeii.
I will continue that story on my next and final posting…..
K den Gangeh….
Kalei Nu’uhiwa
© 2009 Kalei Tsuha

6 thoughts on “PART II – Napoli Ghetto, Truck with Body Parts & the One Toothed Lady in Red”

  1. OH MY Goodness!!!!!!! I’m glad you all got out of there alive! I enjoy reading your daily blogs. I’ve seen Goonies (more times than I care to admit) but I would never want to come across that mama… Be safe and please continue to have a wonderful trip.

  2. I am sitting here laughing so hard that tears came out. I will NEVER forget that day. The expression on your face was priceless when she poked her head in the car.

  3. Ladies… sorry I missed you in Roma… did you every make it to the canonization? I cannot find you blog posts for rome on this site.

    Mele shared with me your Napoli story at the miliary base & your ride out of Napoli… these stories alone are worth the price of your air tickets.

    Will keep reading… stay well and I know you are happy!

    Hugs, Jun

  4. Sorry to have missed you, too, Jun. So many people! Go back to page 6 of this blog for notes and posts. See you when I get back. Aloha…Kim

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